(Guest Post By DJW)
Minnesota Twin’s Manager Ron Gardenhire is probably second guessing his decision to lure T.C. Bear out of the Metrodome using delicious Dome Dogs as bait and ultimately leading to Alexi Casilla’s unfortunate demise. A press conference was held Monday in which Gardy argued his managerial decision “How the hell was I suppose to know that once we tricked T.Czy into Target Field using a trail of Dome Dogs that ownership would abandon the dogs? “Hell, if you want to blame someone talk to J.J. Hardy or Orlando Hudson. If we wouldn’t have signed them maybe we could afford to have a goddamn Hormel Dome Dog! Now we’ll probably be stuck with some Bar S or Corn King shit.”
All this is fallout from the horrific incident that occurred over the weekend when T.C. discovered there would be no more Dome Dogs at Target Field. Hungry and angry, T.C. attacked and ate Twin’s second baseman Alexi Casilla by luring him with a fake lineup card with his name on it.
A dejected fan outside Target Field said “I can see why T.C. ate him, I’m pissed too. I mean I’m a human so I wouldn’t eat anyone, but a bear, that’s a different story. I hope he doesn’t lose his job, we’ve already lost so much and in this economy nobody can afford to be unemployed.”
PETA has already started lining up outside of the Metrodome holding up signs in protest demanding that T.C. be released into the wild. After the Free Willey incident in Florida last month, activism is on the rise regarding domesticated animals, and the Twins have a tough choice to make.
At the time of press T.C. Bear had not been let go from the team, but disciplinary measures are expected. Twin’s owner Jim Pohlad added “There aren’t enough Dome Dogs in the world to bring Alexi back, but about 370 more might have saved his life. It truly is a very sad day for the organization and hot dog lovers.” Gardy had a slightly different take on the tragedy “Well, at least we won’t have to cut him or trade em, now my boy Tolbert can take his spot.”
The TTB investigative staff has found information on the internet that may have stopped this tragedy from occuring. On his mlb.com homepage T.C. posted that he ate Dome Dogs before every game along with honey and trout. Could this crises been averted if we had known this? The answer is probably no but after this incident, I’m glad we don’t have Rick Honeycutt walking around with the word ‘Honey’ on his back.
UPDATE: Interestingly, you can follow TC on twitter http://twitter.com/tc_00