The Minnesota Twins remained busy this offseason announcing the installation of “Choo-Choo Crossing-Arm” as their new third base coach. The Twins front office knew the installation of a new third base coach was a high priority considering the faulty arms of last years coach. “We really wanted to sign someone who posessed the ability to let our players know when to stop,” said Twins GM Bill Smith. ” We all know what happened with our ‘Little Nicky Punto’ last year in the playoffs and someone with Nicky’s scrappyness would never miss a stop sign.” When asked why Crossing-Arm conveniently has flashing lights around the same height as Nick Punto, Smith had no comment.
Twins Manager Ron Gardenhire liked the move, “Choo-Choo Crossing-Armszy is going to fit in well with the team, he’s a machine.”
We asked Choo-Choo Crossing-Arm how he felt now that he was a Twin,
“Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding” he said as his eyes flashed and his arm lowered.
Rumors have now started swirling that Joe Vavra may be replaced by the Joe Mauer ‘Quick Swing’ but Smith and Gardy both withheld comment.