Twins Install New Third Base Coach.

February 18, 2010
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The Twins hope the arms and lights work on this one.

The Minnesota Twins remained busy this offseason announcing the installation of “Choo-Choo Crossing-Arm” as their new third base coach. The Twins front office knew the installation of a new third base coach was a high priority considering the faulty arms of last years coach. “We really wanted to sign someone who posessed the ability to let our players know when to stop,” said Twins GM Bill Smith. ” We all know what happened with our ‘Little Nicky Punto’ last year in the playoffs and someone with Nicky’s scrappyness would never miss a stop sign.” When asked why Crossing-Arm conveniently has flashing lights around the same height as Nick Punto, Smith had no comment.

Twins Manager Ron Gardenhire liked the move, “Choo-Choo Crossing-Armszy is going to fit in well with the team, he’s a machine.”

We asked Choo-Choo Crossing-Arm how he felt now that he was a Twin,

“Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding” he said as his eyes flashed and his arm lowered.

Rumors have now started swirling that Joe Vavra may be replaced by the Joe Mauer ‘Quick Swing’ but Smith and Gardy both withheld comment.

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One Response to Twins Install New Third Base Coach.

  1. mike on September 1, 2010 at 1:01 pm

    Get rid of Ulger, are you kidding me my 17 yr old son could do a better job. How can you leave this guy at third, fiend or no friend he must go

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