UNDISCLOSED LOCATION UNDER TARGET FIELD — Twins relief pitcher Pat Neshek has been unavailable to pitch for the last week due to a sore middle finger. Neshek claims the soreness is a result of his grueling effort to sign every autograph asked of him but rumors are growing in the Twins front office that it may be from something quite different.
TTBB has heard through our “secret sloth” (birdie and squirrel were taken) that the injury is not a result of signing autographs but instead is a result of Neshek’s potentially devastating new addiction. An addiction so vile and repulsive that if true, could bring an end to winning chemistry in the Twins Clubhouse for quite sometime ……. Farmville.
An unidentified source sent TTBB a disturbing Facebook invite that may indict Neshek….
It looks like the evidence may be too overwhelming to deny for our favorite reliever Neshek. After doing a little research online it appears Neshek is exhibiting some well documented symptoms of FarmVille Addiction.
- A sore middle finger is often a sign of excessive mouse clicking, which in this case would manifest from the addicts effort to attain large number of “farm coins”.
- Lying to loved ones and teammates about the cause of the sore middle finger raises flags. As you can see in his Facebook picture he has what appears to be hundreds of baseball cards awaiting autograph….tricky tricky.
- Missing work to play FarmVille is also a symptom. A couple games ago Pat Neshek was ahead in the polls for the Arby’s Value Player and yet he hadn’t been in the game. Perhaps he was at home playing FarmVille and stuffing the virtual ballot box????
Regardless of what caused the sore middle finger, lets hope for a speedy recovery for Mr. Neshek and a slow painful death to FarmVille.