I wrote this on the fly and little proofreading thus I apologize for any mistakes.
My thoughts on the season thus far.
The Twins have been playing great this year even with shortcomings from a few starting pitchers and our bases loaded phobia. The question is, are we as good as our record indicates? If you think about it who have we played this year that is impressive? We have yet to play a decent team this year except for perhaps the Tigers and they aren’t that good. The number in our “Wins” column could be lower yet we have benefited from many “Thats Twins Baseball” plays. How many times have we scored because of errors this season? Considering our early season bases loaded and RISP issues, these errors committed by other teams may have given the Twins the winning edge whereas if we were playing good teams we may have lost some of those because good teams don’t hand out welfare runs. Now consider if we hadn’t gotten those welfare runs, would we still be 2.5 games up in the Central?
To be fair, good teams don’t make mistakes and take advantage of bad teams mistakes so you can’t fault us for taking advantage. Also out of fairness and reason, I am well aware that the season is still young and a lot of things can change (good and bad). The only reason I brought up our record and opponents prior to this weekend is that it scares me to think that of all the teams we have played so far, none have been as powerful as the Yankees. I’m going into this series with a 0-0 record because this is our true test, at Yankee Stadium against a good team, now we’ll know where we stand. This is the best team on paper that we have had in a long time and I’m excited for the possibilities but our first real test will be this weekend, The Catalina Winemixer.
Now the matter at hand.
Well here we go again, back out to the Bronx to play the team that all Twins fans, baseball fans and even God hates. There are many great memories from last years trip out there, including a diving Joe Mauer saying ‘child please’ to Brett “Constant” Gardner. Well I guess that’s the only good memory. Twins fans are still suffering from nightmares such as Alex Rodriguez and Mark Texiera saying bitch please to Joe Nathan in the playoffs or Phil Beer Cuzi doing his best Hellen Keller impersonation down the left field line. If you think about it, the Twins play in the Bronx last year reminded me of a scene in the movie StepBrothers where middle aged men John C Reilly and Will Ferrell get their asses kicked by Mr. Gardocki and other middle school kids on the playground.
The Twins went out there and got bullied around when they shouldn’t have. The team cowered to the all mighty and powerful middle school Yankees when we shouldn’t have to act this way, our team is full of grown men.
What we need is a little fire and attitude when we play the Yankees. Somebody on the bench to pump it up a little and say we’re mad as hell and we aren’t gonna take it anymore. Play with a chip on your shoulder men, you ain’t the little engine that could anymore even though you’d like to think that, get your asses going and show these overpaid pieces of shit that we’re not the same team from years past. Tell those Yankees
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I’m going to kick you repeatedly in the balls Gardocki”.
Here is what the Twins are gonna do this weekend.
We are Will Ferrell’s balls and they are the drum.