Span and Valencia Prove Cars Can’t Drive Themselves

September 23, 2011
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MSP — According to Twitter this afternoon, Span and Valencia are out of the lineup tonight because they have headaches from a minor car accident…with each other. Span rear ended Valencia on their way to the MSP airport for their flight to Cleveland. Apparently Span didn’t expect Valencia to go “the other way”.

When reached for comment, Gardenhire said, “We are trading Denard Span after this season. He tried to throw Valencia under a Range Rover instead of a bus.”

Maybe the Mayans were off by a year? Minnesota sports fans can only hope.

Was Span distracted by some pine trees? That’s Twins Baseball.

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