[Mugshot] Diamond ejected for throwing at Hamilton, goes to jail later (Not Really)

August 26, 2012

Nothing below is real. It is all fiction made up by some guy who has a lot of time on his hands.

ARLINGTON — Twins pitcher Scott Diamond was ejected Friday night after throwing a pitch that sailed over Josh Hamilton’s head.  The pitch was in retaliation for the previous inning when Twins catcher Joe Mauer was hit between the shoulder blades on a 3-0 count and nobody on base.  Ron Gardenhire was also ejected for health reasons as his face had turned bright red and steam was rolling out of his ears.  TTBB’s sources in the clubhouse have learned that Diamond’s rough night got even rougher later that evening.

According to our secret sloth embedded in the Twins clubhouse, Ron Gardenhire and Scott Diamond were approximately 12 beers deep…each when they decided to steal a police car, buy 5.56 ammo online and drive to the nearest Waffle House…all while the game was still being played in their absence.  Arlington police arrived at the Waffle House to find a cooperative, and sleepy Gardenhire and a defiant Scott Diamond.  They were both taken into custody but were then let go for good behavior.  The fine journalists here at TTBB have obtained a picture of Scott Diamond’s mugshot.

*scary noise plays like in an MSNBC investigation*

Meet the real Scott Diamond…the one who threw a baseball at Josh Hamilton.  It should be noted that Diamond’s tattoos are much cooler than Hamilton’s….



Many Twins fans know Scott Diamond as a soft spoken and all around good guy.  Some weren’t sure whether or not he would retaliate for the HBP on Joe Mauer the inning before.  After seeing this mugshot, you can see that Diamond has street cred and him throwing at Hamilton should be no surprise.

**Again none of this is real except for the waste of my life it took to do this.  I left the background transparent just in case others want to place him in other Photoshop situations.**


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