MISSING: Joe Mauer’s Sideburns

April 23, 2013

PANIC ROOM — Breaking news in Twins Territory.  It appears that Joe Mauer’s sideburns have been stolen.  If seen please return to Target Field.  This is worse than seeing your uncle taking off the Santa suit and ruining the magic of Santa and Christmas.  Most likely suspect is some little bastard in the hallway of the Metrodome where Joe ripped them off and gave them to him.  Give them back, kid.




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