Jesse Crain Loves the Environment

April 18, 2010

Minneapolis, MN
The Minnesota Twins and Minnesota State Parks and Trails have teamed up and formed a new partnership they are calling “Break a Bat, Plant a Tree.” According to the Twins website “Every time a Minnesota Twins pitcher breaks the bat of an opposing player during the 2010 season, Minnesota State Parks and Trails will plant 100 trees in one of the 73 Minnesota state parks and recreation areas or along one of the 21 Minnesota state trails.”
This is a wonderful way to bring awareness to forest restoration projects at Minnesota state parks and trails, but for Minnesota pitcher Jesse Crain it might mean spending some time inside a Minnesota Jail cell. “I guess I didn’t really understand the whole promotion?” Crain told authorities after he was arrested for breaking into the Kansas City Royal’s dugout after the game. “I was just trying to help Minnesota State Parks by breaking a bunch of bats.”
City of Minneapolis Police arrested Crain after leaving the Royal’s dugout after “sawing off” approximately 80 bats with a hacksaw that he brought from home; he was also carrying a flashlight. “We said freeze put down the saw!” said one of the police officers who caught Crain. “He just looked at us confused and said “What, I just planted almost 8,000 trees?” The other officer’s and I thought Jesse was on drugs and that’s why we had to tase him.”
Minnesota Twins Vice President of Marketing Patrick Klinger said he’d like to apologize for the “grey” area involving the promotion. “It’s a shame that this had to happen and I’m sorry. I just hope that Jesse will be ok and isn’t in too much trouble. Now if you don’t mind I’ve got bigger problems, Neshek got the most votes for player of the game tonight and he didn’t even pitch.”
Manager Ron Gardenhire was unavailable for comment, but was seen driving in the direction of the police station to presumably bail Crain out of jail. Let’s hope in tomorrow’s game that Jesse can break some bats while on the mound, not in the dugout.


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