Gardenhires Absence Caused By Rookie’s Indecent Exposure

April 7, 2010
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Taken via webcam during my talk with him today.

The TTB staff has learned the real reason Twins Manager Ron Gardenhire was absent from the bench late in last nights game.  It turns out a rookie mistake of trying to fit in with the guys is to blame.

In an exclusive interview I spoke with Twins rookie and backup catcher Drew Butera about what happened.  “Well I was having trouble trying to fit in with the guys on the team.  I mean, everyone is like nice to me and stuff but I just didn’t feel like I was one of the guys the way that Reddog was last year” (Butera is of course referring to Mike Redmond who was let go after last season.  Redmond was well liked and well known as the ‘Naked Guy’ for his proclivity to walk around the clubhouse naked).  I asked Butera what he possibly could have done with good intentions that would have gotten his manager sick.  “Reddog always walked around naked last year from what I heard and I figured maybe that was the reason everyone like him.  So during the later innings I snuck back into clubhouse and got naked, except for my catcher chest protector and kneeguards.  I thought for sure the guys would laugh but before I could get to the dugout, Gardy was in the tunnel getting a drink of water and saw me.  He turned beet red and started laughing so hard that he projectile vomited, rolled on the floor and kept laughing.”

After trying for hours to talk to Ron Gardenhire he finally returned my phone call.  He told me that what he saw last night made him laugh so hard he puked, and kept puking so much that he had to get an IV for dehydration.  I asked him what could be so funny about a naked guy.  Gardy replied “It wasn’t that he was naked it was just how he looked.  It looked like a baby elephant had put a chest protector on his forehead”.

I’ve been told Buteras nickname around the clubhouse is now ‘Dumbo’.

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